Friends with… Benefits? Is It For You?

There are times that you just can’t get sex out of your head. There are times that you may feel lonely and alone. There are times that you feel that you have needs that you want to be fulfilled. Sometimes you just crave intimacy and sensuality. There are also times that you’re so damn busy that you don’t have time to go out on dates. There are times that you just want to celebrate your body. There are times that you feel that you just want no nonsense sex. There are times that you may have thought about having a FUBU – a friend with benefits. On the other hand, you’re wondering is this your cup of tea?

Benefits of having a Friends with Benefits.

Sensuality and sexuality is but a normal human need and being able to satisfy it is important to achieve a balanced wellbeing. Many may say that having sex should be exclusive to people in relationships only. However this is not true, it is your body and it is your choice how to be happy and fulfill your needs. One of the ways to reconcile the craving would be to find a friend who can agree with you to explore the world of sex.

Going into this kind of set-up has its ups and downs. There are many things that normal relationships do not offer that you can find here. One of the best things about this being able to enjoy sex… pure fun sex.


No Strings Attached

Going into FUBU (f**k buddy) mode allows you to do fun crazy things in your sexual escapade. It’s not that couples could not do it, but some may be limited due to some things. Being in a non-committed sexual relationship allows you to have several sexual partners (don’t forget to use protection and contraception) at any given time. You are able to have group sex, role playing and just have no holds barred fun. If both of you and your partner consent, you can do many different experiences to the table. You are not tied to one partner only. You are free.

On the other hand, you can say no to sex. If your “friend” calls you for a booty call, you can say no because you’d rather sleep, you don’t need to fear about hurting his or her feelings because you’re not in a relationship anyway. Both of you can agree when to or when not to have sex. No strings attached.

Fun, Fun and More Fun

Sometimes people are just looking for the element of fun. The noncommittal factor of not being in a relationship adds to this. There is the feeling of pure sexuality, which is pure bliss. You can do it in your lunch break with an office buddy then go back to your desk with a smile. You can go to a new city, meet someone new, hang out and have some fun sex without needing to commit.

Commitments are great. They offer stability and being always having someone there, but sometimes you could just not find someone to commit to or you just don’t have the time so if you want to still have fun, sensual nights, why not have a friend with benefit?

When Is Having Friends with Benefits not Beneficial?

Having a buddy to jump into bed with can be fun but sometimes it’s just not for everybody. Some people may get hurt in this process instead of reaping the benefits. Before engaging in this kind of situation you must first take a look at the pros and also the cons.


Being too Emotionally Attached.

If you’ve just broken up with someone and you’re looking for a quick fix to cure your broken heart going the FUBU route may not be for you. You may confuse the fun sex hormones with falling in love again and may see the person as the replacement for your lost love. If you are desperate to get into a relationship, then this is a bad idea. If you engage into a non-committal sexual set up and you’re hoping it would turn into something else then think again. The other person may end up seeing you as too clingy and end up running away. He or she may have clearly defined that there is no relationship that is going to happen, yet you secretly hope that he or she would change his or her thoughts. Wake up that is not gonna happen. You will just look like an obsessed stalker or a loony case.

Going into this kind of arrangement requires a level of maturity and acceptance. If you are planning to use it to get into something more serious then you need to be prepared. The other person may or may not want it to be that way, so you have to be able to accept that.

I found some great advice about this and other friends with benefits issues at the Love Queen –

You are already in a committed relationship and just plan to cheat.

Well, let’s face it people cheat for a reason. But going into consensual sex with someone outside your relationship without the knowledge of your partner is a big no-no. You’re not just cheating on your partner, your also cheating your friend. This person probably does not want drama in their lives. They want to enjoy sex and not carry someone’s emotional baggage. If you feel that you want to go fooling around with different people, then it is better to break up from the relationship first before going into a friends with benefits route.

However, if your partner is on the exploratory side and is OK to be polyamorous, then it’s fine. Both of you can enjoy having friends satisfy your needs, either together or separately at a time.

With the modern times here comes modern relationships. We now know that sex is not just for exclusively committed people. Friends can share experiences that satisfy biological needs. Friends with benefits can help you experience life in a more enjoyable, satisfying way.



Your First Time: Losing Your Virginity

Life is full of firsts, from your first day of school to your first kiss. Being the first is what makes things or moments in your life so memorable and meaningful. When it comes to losing your virginity, this is one first that you do not want to rush or regret. There is no such thing as the perfect first sexual experience, but you can make sure that you are ready and have chosen the right person. Sex is awkward and a little painful the first time, but you can make it special by choosing someone that you have genuine feelings for. There are many factors that go into losing your virginity from religion to your own values, but just make sure that you are always true to yourself.

Waiting Is Best

When you are young and in love, your judgment can be clouded. You might think that you are ready to lose your virginity, but being careful is always best. If you still have fear and do not feel like it is the right time for you, never compromise your feelings. You should always be in control of what you want and never let someone else talk you into losing your virginity before you are ready. Everyyoung girl photoone is different and waiting is the best thing to do if you are unsure. Sex will happen many times during your lifetime, but you only lose your virginity once. This means that you should make sure it is a memorable experience that you will look back on fondly.

The One

When you are choosing the person to lose your virginity to, it often comes down to your religious beliefs. Some people are waiting to lose their virginity until marriage, which means that you must find your one true love first. Other people are simply waiting to find someone that they truly love and have a connection with. When looking for the person to lose your virginity to, you must use both your head and your heart. As long as you have genuine feelings for this person, you can look back fondly on your first experience. Choose carefully and realize that having sex will only lead to stronger feelings. Make sure that the person you choose to lose your virginity to is worthy. If you are really in love, you may be ready.


When you are with someone that respects you and is willing to wait, this is a huge help. You should never choose to lose your virginity to someone that is trying to pressure or urge you. If someone fully respects you and is willing to wait, you will be more open to fully trust them. Losing your virginity often happens when you are younger, but knowing that your partner respects and truly cares for you will calm your nerves and help you make the best decision. Respect is the basis of any health relationship and you should only lose your virginity to someone that really respects you completely.

Let Go

You are only truly ready to lose your virginity when you understand that you are ready to fall deeper in love or have your heart broken. Nothing is guaranteed in love and you should always know this when you are looking to lose your virginity. You should take your time and understand what this will mean in your relationship. Any new step will change the complexion of your relationship in some way. It might be for the better, but there is always a chance it may not. Being mature and aware of what loves means to you will enable you to make the best decision when it comes to your virginity.


How to overcome your jealousy

Overcoming Jealousy – You CAN do it!

There are few emotions that can be as toxic to a relationship in the way that jealousy can.  If you can get over this now you can make way for a healthy relationship and enjoy the dating process. Jealousy is a natural emotion and it can be managed in a healthy way. However, it can also poison any romance and result in your partner feeling smothered or controlled. You have to get to the root of the jealousy to determine if the relationship is healthy for both individuals. Sometimes jealousy is the result of a larger problem that can’t be fixed. If jealousy is becoming a huge part of your relationship, you must act now. You can’t keep feeling betrayed or accusing your partner. Eventually jealousy will rip the two of you apart. However, how do you begin to overcome jealousy? It will not be easy, but there are a few things that you can do to overcome your jealousy.

Ask Yourself Why

There is always an underlying reason for any emotion. You must ask yourself why you are constantly feeling jealous or threatened. Jealousy is a behavior that you choose and you must find out why. You have to determine if jealousy is just your natural way of coping and find out why you are deciding to act in this manner. At the end of eth day, you are the one choosing to get angry and jealous. The answer might give you insight on where to go from here.

Have You Been Hurt In The Past?

If you have been cheated on before, this may be the overriding cause of your jealousy. Your current partner doesn’t even have to be the one that cheated on you. You can have issues of jealousy connected to being cheated on in your past. Being cheated on leads people to feeling inadequate, fearful, untrusting and constantly jealous. You have to understand that jealousy can lead your partner to feeling attacked and unhappy. Eventually they will look for someone that trusts, respects and treats them with the dignity that your own jealousy will not allow. Being fearful of cheating can lead to feelings of jealousy that actually trigger cheating. It can be a dangerous web that you weave with constant feelings of jealousy.

Jealousy and Control

You should also understand that jealousy is also a way to try and dictate constant control. Many people that struggle with issues of jealousy also have control issues. If power is what you are always looking to achieve, you must start to understand how this will eventually make your partner feel. If you like the control and power that being jealous allows you to have, you need to work on your own issues to help release the strain it is placing on your relationship. You must decide to make a conscious decision to start respecting and stop controlling your partner. You must make different choices when it comes to your actions and the demands that you make.

jealousy photo

Respect and Happiness

A relationship will only flourish if both partners feel safe and respected. Jealousy simply makes any relationship turn toxic and eventually becomes its demise. If you are constantly jealous in your relationship, you must realize that this will not end well. Jealousy will eventually ruin everything that you and your partner have built together. You must decide if your jealousy is warranted or if you simply have other issues that are causing this emotion to come to life. Sometimes jealousy is a sign that you are not a good match for each other, but sometimes it simply means that you need to work through your own issues causing your jealous behavior. Ask yourself the hard questions and get to the underlying issues causing this emotion to surface.

Photo by williamshannon

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