Monthly Archives: October 2014

Friends with… Benefits? Is It For You?

There are times that you just can’t get sex out of your head. There are times that you may feel lonely and alone. There are times that you feel that you have needs that you want to be fulfilled. Sometimes you just crave intimacy and sensuality. There are also times that you’re so damn busy that you don’t have time to go out on dates. There are times that you just want to celebrate your body. There are times that you feel that you just want no nonsense sex. There are times that you may have thought about having a FUBU – a friend with benefits. On the other hand, you’re wondering is this your cup of tea?

Benefits of having a Friends with Benefits.

Sensuality and sexuality is but a normal human need and being able to satisfy it is important to achieve a balanced wellbeing. Many may say that having sex should be exclusive to people in relationships only. However this is not true, it is your body and it is your choice how to be happy and fulfill your needs. One of the ways to reconcile the craving would be to find a friend who can agree with you to explore the world of sex.

Going into this kind of set-up has its ups and downs. There are many things that normal relationships do not offer that you can find here. One of the best things about this being able to enjoy sex… pure fun sex.


No Strings Attached

Going into FUBU (f**k buddy) mode allows you to do fun crazy things in your sexual escapade. It’s not that couples could not do it, but some may be limited due to some things. Being in a non-committed sexual relationship allows you to have several sexual partners (don’t forget to use protection and contraception) at any given time. You are able to have group sex, role playing and just have no holds barred fun. If both of you and your partner consent, you can do many different experiences to the table. You are not tied to one partner only. You are free.

On the other hand, you can say no to sex. If your “friend” calls you for a booty call, you can say no because you’d rather sleep, you don’t need to fear about hurting his or her feelings because you’re not in a relationship anyway. Both of you can agree when to or when not to have sex. No strings attached.

Fun, Fun and More Fun

Sometimes people are just looking for the element of fun. The noncommittal factor of not being in a relationship adds to this. There is the feeling of pure sexuality, which is pure bliss. You can do it in your lunch break with an office buddy then go back to your desk with a smile. You can go to a new city, meet someone new, hang out and have some fun sex without needing to commit.

Commitments are great. They offer stability and being always having someone there, but sometimes you could just not find someone to commit to or you just don’t have the time so if you want to still have fun, sensual nights, why not have a friend with benefit?

When Is Having Friends with Benefits not Beneficial?

Having a buddy to jump into bed with can be fun but sometimes it’s just not for everybody. Some people may get hurt in this process instead of reaping the benefits. Before engaging in this kind of situation you must first take a look at the pros and also the cons.


Being too Emotionally Attached.

If you’ve just broken up with someone and you’re looking for a quick fix to cure your broken heart going the FUBU route may not be for you. You may confuse the fun sex hormones with falling in love again and may see the person as the replacement for your lost love. If you are desperate to get into a relationship, then this is a bad idea. If you engage into a non-committal sexual set up and you’re hoping it would turn into something else then think again. The other person may end up seeing you as too clingy and end up running away. He or she may have clearly defined that there is no relationship that is going to happen, yet you secretly hope that he or she would change his or her thoughts. Wake up that is not gonna happen. You will just look like an obsessed stalker or a loony case.

Going into this kind of arrangement requires a level of maturity and acceptance. If you are planning to use it to get into something more serious then you need to be prepared. The other person may or may not want it to be that way, so you have to be able to accept that.

I found some great advice about this and other friends with benefits issues at the Love Queen –

You are already in a committed relationship and just plan to cheat.

Well, let’s face it people cheat for a reason. But going into consensual sex with someone outside your relationship without the knowledge of your partner is a big no-no. You’re not just cheating on your partner, your also cheating your friend. This person probably does not want drama in their lives. They want to enjoy sex and not carry someone’s emotional baggage. If you feel that you want to go fooling around with different people, then it is better to break up from the relationship first before going into a friends with benefits route.

However, if your partner is on the exploratory side and is OK to be polyamorous, then it’s fine. Both of you can enjoy having friends satisfy your needs, either together or separately at a time.

With the modern times here comes modern relationships. We now know that sex is not just for exclusively committed people. Friends can share experiences that satisfy biological needs. Friends with benefits can help you experience life in a more enjoyable, satisfying way.